Dear Family Diet Saboteur

I think this is too funny! "A letter to the Family Diet Saboteur"

By: Rebecca Regnier

Check out her Blog at www.doesthisblogmakeuslookfat.com

Dear (

You may have noticed that my

beloved husband/significant other/co-parent/lovely wife/offspring),(butt/gut/thighs) (have/has) spread in the last few

(decades/9 months/weeks/holidays)

a pony keg/preventing me from wearing corduroy as friction may ignite a thigh

fire).

and is now (wider than an ax handle/looking' like

I am trying to

jersey/see my toes/be able to go upstairs without requiring oxygen).

(lose a few pounds/shrink the muffin top/fit into my old footballI have decided to

(count calories/reduce carbohydrates/switch to light beer/move around more).

may notice strange things in the crisper next to the bacon, they're called vegetables.

I will do this with or without your support but seeing as I

TV./tolerate your mother/never missed Muffins w/Mom/never missed Dough-nuts

with Dads)

Please don't

You(let you get the big screenwould appreciate you respect my choices.(offer me seconds/leave leftover pizza/order an extra French fry).

When you say

baked yummy cookies)

talk about my eating plan and you

mother)

(but it's a birthday party/it's only one/you deserve a treat/looked II know you're trying to be nice but it does not help me. When I(roll your eyes/snort/laugh about it with yourit makes me feel (angry/sad/lonely/a teensy bit murdery).

Because I know you love me and want me around to

lawn/drive you places/destroy you when we play Jeopardy)

are a few ways you can

progress is to say

(wash the socks/mow thefor years to come. Here(help/stay out of my way). The proper way to ask me about myhow was your weigh in NOT did you lose anything? If I say

(good/fine/horrifying)

you should just

weight you can say

ounce).

If I have inspired you to

this means I've (not lost/gained/want to beat someone up) and(give me a hug/suggest we take a walk together/shut up). If I say I lost(you look so great/way to go/I still don't think you need to lose anI may or may not share how much I've lost or gained.(get off your butt/eat a carrot/buy me something nice)

great! But if you continue to

psychopath)

also be duly noted.

And keep in mind I

you're the bees knees/know you let me win at Jeopardy)

health means I can better take care of you. If you disregard this letter I have no choice but

Love,

The Nurturing Dieter(laugh at me/push food on me/load the dishwasher like aI will file it away on the list I keep in my head. If you are supportive it will(love you just the way you are/support your choices/thinkand that taking care of my